How to Cope With Spouse With Anxiety and/or Depression

Now there's help for those coping with
a spouse who has depression and anxiety.

Anxiety and depression often go hand-in-hand and is very common for an individual to be diagnosed with both. For those who have a spouse who is suffering from one or both of these issues, life can be difficult. Many times those who are affected have a hard time holding together relationships and jobs. They get so wrapped up in their own feelings, they are unable to look outside themselves and see the world and people around them.

People with depression have the perspective that everything is negative, and that there is little hope for improvement. People with anxiety think negatively about specific situations, and can see at least some positives some of the time.

People with depression see the future as hopeless, and largely out of their control. People with anxiety generally see some hope for the future, but feel anxiety about how to accomplish what they need to do to achieve that improvement.

People with depression see their shortcomings as evidence that they are “bad,” or “defective,” or “broken.” People with anxiety also have negative views of their mistakes, but feel that they can be overcome, even if they are not sure how.

People with depression avoid routine tasks because they take too much energy, are too overwhelming, or because they believe doing them is not going to make a difference anyway. People with anxiety avoid specific tasks that make them anxious because of their fear of failure or being unable to cope or being ridiculed if they do it wrong.

People with depression expect failure, and often give up without even trying. For example, if a depressed person wakes up in the morning and feels tired, she may say, “I won’t be able to do anything today….it’s not even worth trying….I might as well stay in bed all day.” People with anxiety take the view that yes, the day may be challenging, but it hasn’t happened yet. Bad things could happen, such as messing up a presentation at work, and that does provoke anxiety, but it might not necessarily stop the anxious person from trying.

The automatic thoughts of a depressed person focus on overall sadness and loss, such as, “I’ll never be as capable as I once was,” or “It’ll never get better.” The automatic thoughts of an anxious person are more specific to performance, such as “I won’t know what to say when I talk to him,” or “I won’t have enough time to do a good job.”

It is important to know that there is help for people who are anxious and depressed that don’t include brain-altering drugs. These people can be trained to take control of their own brains and change their thinking and their behavior without drugs.

Click here to find out more about depression and anxiety.